Desert Fox (1985). C64

Desert Fox is a WWII wargame for the C64. That genre seems to have quite a footprint on this platform. Well, the computer IS titled the Commodore 64. Let's take on the Desert Fox (Nazi Erwin Rommel) and battle against tanks and planes and the desert itself!

The cover is simple but effective. It lets us know that we are (or are taking on) a powerful opponent. There are tanks and planes and explosions! The green against white color scheme evokes a sense of desperation. Other colors can come in when things are easy and comfortable. When it is life-or-death, anything extraneous falls away. Who IS the Desert Fox?

Status: Played it

Thoughts: I liked this game. The map scenes are tense. The swastika looms ever closer and my tank feels like it is trying to move through quicksand. I turn on the in-game radio. Hearing static is a blessing. Hearing "Stuka!" "Minefields" is not a blessing. I know I must target them and clear out enemy forces. But taking damage brings me closer to death. And every moment I spend where I am not pushing East risks losing those depots! There are no "good" choices. There are only necessary and more-necessary choices. I hope my aim is good! Those enemy Tiger tanks seem to be able to turn on a dime. 

This seems impossible! Yet, there must be a way to win...

(The way to win is to practice more. Download this game and give it a try!)

Rating: 3.0 out of 4 Sherman Tanks

Sceptre of Baghdad (1993). C64

Sceptre of Baghdad came out quite late in the C64 lifecycle. That usually means excellent graphic, controls and music! I hope I will be platforming, slinging spells and swinging a sword! 

We do need to discuss the cover art, though...

The cover is busy, as in a "Where's Waldo?" level of busy. It's hostile. The cover is daring us to stay around long enough to find the main character. This art has some of the most appalling use of color that I have ever seen in a game jacket. Cyclops is dull. Medusa is completely one color, as if her face and clothing and snakes are all made from the same material. Her facial expression is fantastic, however! She seems incredibly grateful for the chance to do evil. Not quite sure about the reasoning for the fangs. Is she also supposed to be a vampire? Regarding the hero, we don't get to see the hero's face. My assumption is that the artist started drawing from the outer edges first. They got bored once they reached the middle and didn't bother giving my dude a face. The genie on the bottom got way more love than the rest of the cast, considering that he got actual clothes to go along with a full facial expression. Don't I wish that I was playing as him!  

Status: Played it

Thoughts: The controls are wonderful! I love running around and jumping. And on screens with enemies, I can shoot energy blasts from my hands! The game looks beautiful. So smooth that you would think it was an early Amiga title! The music is EXCELLENT.

The problem is that this game also wants to be an adventure. When there is only 1 button, the choice is usually between adventure or action. It is a poor idea to put both of them together. Both modes end up shortchanged. In this case, the adventure portion is boring. It involves picking up objects while having a very small inventory that must be cycled through. Then drop certain objects in different places, essentially trading them with other objects in order to solve puzzles. If you have the correct item highlighted and are in the right place, something will happen to advance your play. 

But since the items don't really have descriptions and you cannot use the item in a visible way, there is no reward for accomplishing goals. A text adventure would give detailed descriptions and you can communicate with the game. A point-and-click adventure would allow everything to be examined on the screen at your own pace, along with providing a list of verbs that can change the context of your interaction with the item.

Sceptre of Baghdad made me realize that I really want the randomizer to give me an adventure game!

Rating: 2.0 out of 4 Genies

Operation Swordfish (1985). C64

Operation Swordfish is 1st-person shooter with 2 different modes. I man a submarine. Gun mode is used for attacking enemy planes and torpedo mode is used for attacking enemy ships. The C64 has some excellent and imaginative wargames, so let's see how this goes!

Here is the cover:

I love this watercolor drawing. It is beautiful and it has that feel that no other fine art medium can evoke. "Operation SWORDFISH"! The title comes out at you in that classic 70's movie glory! There is one massive submarine dominating the rest of the cover. My dude is standing on the top of the hatch, and he is nearly as big as one of approaching planes! Heck, why bother with those measly guns. My man can reach out and arm-wrestle one of those planes to the ground!

Status: Played it

Thoughts: I really enjoy the idea of a shooter with multiple modes. There is a mechanic where being in one mode requires being in the other mode for an ammo reload. It is cool!

What's less cool is that the controls are stiff and crappy. My gun was one of the weakest and least impactful weapons that I have ever seen. Huzzah, I shall take you down with this wet noodle! Some people called it a poor man's Beach Head. But Beach Head (and especially Beach Head II) are light years ahead of this game! Operation Swordfish is far worse than even a poor imitation of BH. The game is designed as a shooting gallery, but it is so slow! It was a forgettable experience. But I still love the box art!

Rating: 1.5 out of 4 Submarines

Tales of the Arabian Nights (1984). C64

Tales of the Arabian Nights looks interesting! The Arab theme is different. I imagine turbans and scimitars and fireballs and flying leaps!

We need to talk about the cover:

I will get to be on a flying carpet? And the game has ULTRA LOAD and SPEECH?! Awesome! That being said, why does my dude look so damn evil? His face is giving me full-on witch realness. The pointy blue hat is not helping matters. Neither are his hands and arms, reaching up towards the sky in paroxysms of wicked joy. I can't imagine that the princess would feel very comforted if this one showed up in her chamber. 

The Kalendar Prince: " *cackling* I'm here to rescue you! Hee hee hee!"

The Princess Anitra: " ...Nah, I'm good."

Status: Played it

Thoughts: The digitized speech is awesome! It was a pleasant surprise. It shows what the C64 can do when its power is harnessed properly. And I like the music as well.

But once again, the controls are "stiff as a board"! If only this game remembered the "light as a feather" portion as well! My character was a squat, heavy and square blob. He moved like one, too. The dude was very angular. 

Movement onscreen has a case of pixel-hunt-ladder syndrome, where unless you are standing on the EXACT pixel for a ladder or rope, you won't move up or down at all. The seconds that are required for me to take tiny steps left or right to reposition myself will often prove to be fatal. Whenever a game has a loop of flying enemies that dive towards you and they endlessly respawn, timing is key. 

The horizontal jump distance was surprisingly far. Unfortunately, the immediate death from a tiny fall is quite reminiscent of Spelunker. Tiny fall distances discourage exploration and using a character freely. I loved the mechanic of having to grab the gold jars in a specific order so that I could spell out "ARABIAN". It adds a nice layer of strategy. But my character sprite was way too big and would often completely obscure whatever surface or object I was interacting with. It also made the screen feel weirdly crowded. The cannon, multiple bird types, squids, and mostly unsafe jumps worked together to create a minimum of movement for my character. I was pinned down so often that it felt like I was playing chess!

This is another game that absolutely should be revisited and remade. I love single-screen platformers. Just give me a character that is fun to control!

Rating: 2.0 out of 4 Flying Carpets

Saucer Attack! (1984). C64

Saucer Attack! is a shooter from 1984. Let's see how it plays! The style is first-person and you move a reticule around the screen, shooting at enemy saucers.

Here is the cover:

The game doesn't hide the fact that the saucer is attacking the Capitol building of the United States, located at the National Mall. They appeal to patriotism... and some of our biggest fears!

Status: Played it

Thoughts: This game is weak. It is a light gun game with no light gun. The reticule and shots are slow, the enemy movement is fairly random, and there is no feedback when you hit an enemy successfully. There is no thrill of marksmanship, like in archery or gun sports. Frankly, the game was less fun than games from the 70's! Don't bother.

Rating: 1.5 out of 4 Flying Saucers

BC's Quest for Tires (1983). C64

BC's Quest for Tires jumps out at anybody who used to read the newspaper! B.C. was a famous comic strip. I have a fond memory of reading that comic as part of the Sunday paper on Easter Sunday! I would have tons of Easter Candy and these comics. Pure joy! Hopefully, this game lets me ride the unicycle!

Here is the cover:

It looks like the game is promising fast movement. Great! Why is the hero only a tiny portion of the cover? Anyhow, let's get some tires!

Status: Played it

Thoughts: These are excellent graphics, especially for 1983! The animation is fast and smooth. But it is not very interesting. I noticed that I have zero desire to try the game again. It is a side-scroller that doesn't have weapons or much platforming. It is mostly jumping and ducking and there aren't any enemies to avoid! Even Pitfall gives you more to do than that. 

I tried the game again so that I could be sure that I was giving the game a fair shake. I made it further! But it still controls relatively poorly. I noticed that I wasn't enjoying it. Mario Brothers came out at the same time as this game. Yet the original Mario Brothers game controls quite well! There was no reason for BC to be this stiff, especially since the game doesn't have to program any enemies. They could have put all their resources into making smooth controls. When a game character is a joy to use, you can have fun just running around! 

Rating: 1.5 out of 4 Stone Unicycles

Caveman Ugh-Lympics (1988).

Caveman Ugh-Lympics is my first game post that was requested by a reader! Graeme Fawcett has fond memories of this game. World Games and Winter Games are 2 of my favorite C64 multiplayer games ever, so I am excited! I read the manual. I practiced all the Events at least once. Let's go!

Here is the cover: 

The cover art has cavemen that are drawn in that classic cartoon style that brings you back to the 80's (and earlier!) As the sabretooth tiger has eaten the athlete in 3rd place, the stakes will definitely be high. 

Status: Played it

Thoughts: This game must be played with friends. As a single-player experience, Caveman Ugh-Lympics has very awkward controls, along with a lack of direct interaction with the CPU opponent. Those 2 things are the death knell for any sports games.

But if you play this with friends, you will definitely enjoy yourself! Whatever issues exist with the controls are irrelevant as your opponent will have the exact same issues. Fire Making and Dino Race are 2 Events that stand out as particularly fun when playing against a friend or two (or more.) Don't make yourself dizzy!

I give this game 2 ratings. Single-player is ultimately boring as the events are not interactive enough to evoke the thrill of competition. But multiplayer rocks, which is appropriate for these cavemen. Give this game a try!

Rating: 3.0 out of 4 Dinosaurs (multiplayer experience)

Rating: 1.5 out of 4 Dinosaurs (single-player mode)